Preparation of my heart

After I have attended a three-day church seminar in early 2003, my heart underwent a great change. Many forgotten events from my youth suddenly came to my mind. I remembered when I was a child, I used to steal money from my grandma for candies. I also remembered when I was a teenager, I had been speaking harshly to my elderly relatives. Even a passing thought, a word just spoken, an attitude or a sudden notion would lead me to some probing self-examination; to think seriously about my past, and to confess my faults one by one. As I repented before God, I could feel my heart was being cleansed continuously by Him.

My faith used to stem from the bustling church activities. But now, it is growing inwardly as I face my real conditions before God.

With my husband Jonathan and daughter Grace in Dec. 2002, just before I attended the church seminar.

Unexpected Diagnosis of Cancer

One month after the change in my attitude and my life, I had an abdominal ultrasound test. The test was performed because my family doctor found a small bubble in my liver when she checked my chest X-ray image, which was taken when I had asthma at that time.

During the ultrasound test, the technician discovered by accident that there was a huge tumor in my ovary. It had grown so large that it had extended to my liver, but I had no idea about its presence at all. The family doctor immediately referred me to a specialist, and I underwent a surgery two weeks later. The tumor, as well as my ovaries and uterus, were removed. The tumor was 10 cm by 16 cm and was as big as a honeydew melon. The tumor was diagnosed as malignant, but the doctor suspected that it had not spread to the rest of the body yet.

An Undercover Blessing

Some day after the surgery, my husband was listening to the Christian radio station 106.5 Praise while he was driving. He came across this song (click here to listen) he has never heard before, and the lyrics was quoted from the Book of Jeremiah 29:11:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

The song touched his heart deeply. He knew it was God speaking to him. This verse became a great comfort to him as we underwent all the difficulties later on.

Brothers and sisters from a few churches prayed for me in earnest. While one of the sisters was praying for me, she received a phrase from God: "The blessing of the Lord is abundant." After I was discharged from the hospital, I went to another church to attend a worship service. To my surprise, the first hymn that the pastor asked the congregation to sing was "The End (of Blessings) Is Not Yet." And it's true - as we faced the challenges later on, blessings came to me one after one in abundance.

The Spread to the Brain

Three weeks after the abdominal surgery, I was sent to the hospital again due to continuous vomiting. My husband and daughter also found that my response to speech was odd: when the nurse asked me a question in English, I answered her in Mandarin, and when another spoke to me in Mandarin, I responded in English. After the examination, the doctor found from the CT scan images that there was a big tumor in my brain. As the tumor had oppressed the nerve centre of language and motion, it caused erratic behaviors such as vomiting and abnormal speech.

I was sent to the operation room right on the same day as the diagnosis. The neurosurgeon took from my brain two tumors, which were 4 cm and 1 cm big respectively. It was a dangerous operation; even the slightest deviation would cause permanent damage on my speaking and moving ability. Nevertheless, thank God for His keeping all the way, the operation turned out to be a success. When my husband came to visit me in the recovery room on the next morning, he found me sitting upright on my bed, munching away on a big sandwich as breakfast. It surely astonished him.

The night I had the surgery was on Good Friday. On the Easter morning, I saw the warm sunlight shining on me through the hospital window, and I had a feeling that I was healed.

Me after the brain surgery. (April 2003)

In addition, what was more amazing was that all kinds of worries and burdens that I had carried since my youth were cut off all together with the tumor. It was such a relief because I realized that no matter how I much worried or planned, I could never predict that I would get cancer. However, God the Father controls everything. He revealed and removed these tumors in a way that I would never expect. Through this I returned back to a simple-minded child resting in the bosom of the heavenly Father, enjoying His sweet and everlasting love. I no longer worry for the future. The Bible suddenly became a brand-new book to me, that I was so eager to read it and to uncover all the wonders in the book. My heart was overwhelmed with praise, love, gratitude, passion and worship to the Lord.

The Radiation Therapy

After the brain surgery, the doctor told us plainly that the survival rate for a brain tumor patient was very low, and having the radiation therapy or not wouldn't make too much difference. He suggested us to do it because my tumors were more centralized, and seemed to have a higher chance to recover. So I had radiation therapy for two weeks, and I began to lose hair during the treatment. Throughout all this, the church kept on praying for me. On day a sister whom I was not very acquainted with called my daughter, saying that when the church was praying for me, a Bible verse came to her mind: "Woman, you are set free from your infirmity."

I thought, "Thank you, Lord, for comforting me through this sister, but could you say it to me again in person?"

Soon after I was in the waiting room waiting for the radiation treatment. I picked up my Bible to read, and suddenly I was prompted in my heart to read "Chapter 13." But there are 66 books in the Bible, and of which should I read the "Chapter 13"? When I open the Bible, it happened to be the Chapter 13 of the Gospel of Luke. As I read on to verse 12, it said,

"When Jesus saw her, he called her forward and said to her, 'Woman, you are set free from your infirmity.'"

Thank God! He surely had reconfirmed his promise to me personally.

The Spread to the Hip

One month later, from images of CT scan and bone scan the doctor was surprised to find that there was yet another tumor of 4.8 cm big located in my hip. He said it was very rare that an ovarian cancer would spread to the bone. As a result, I received two more weeks of radiation treatment on my hip.

The Spread to the Chest and Lymph

Later because of my continuous coughing, the doctor discovered that the cancer had already spread to my chest and lymph. I could even clearly feel the bump of lymph node on my neck and behind my ears. So I started to receive the chemotherapy. It was done once a month and lasted for six months. Each time it took about five hours for me to receive the IV injection.

Chemotherapy is well known for its horrible side effects, including nausea, vomiting, lost in appetite, weakened immunity… but none had occurred to me. While I was receiving IV injection during my first chemo treatment, I felt so hungry that I asked my husband go out and buy a big lunch for me. When the nurse came in and saw what I was eating, she was so amazed. Then she asked my husband where he bought it, because looking at me made her want to get the same one too.

Once my first treatment completed, I went home slept. I woke up sweated and my coughing had stopped. After taking a shower, I felt wonderful.

Right at that moment, a sister who worked in a pharmacy called me. She didn't want to disturb me, but was anxious to know how I was. I told her how great I was feeling, and upon hearing this she wept and prayed, "How I thank you, heavenly Father! I've never ever heard a chemo patient saying I feel so great after the treatment. How merciful and gracious you are to my sister!"

As a pharmacist, she told me that she could recognize a chemo patient in the pharmacy from their appearance. And her guess was always confirmed when she checked their prescription. It was amazing that I didn't have any side effects. There was no other explanation except God's abundant grace.

Blood tests before each chemo treatment showed that my blood cell counts remained the same as before the treatment. My appetite and sleep was extraordinarily good during the treatment. Coughing and the leg pain resulting from tumors were all gone. I felt stronger and stronger as I walked. My body seemed to be awakening, to a brand new life.

At the beach in Vancouver with my daughter, after the first chemotherapy. (August 2003)

God really listened to the prayers of my brothers and sisters: "Let the medication of chemotherapy kill cancer cells only, Lord, but not normal cells."

God also reminded me that "And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name...... when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well." (Mark 16:17-18)

Cancer Disappeared Completely

Just before my last chemotherapy at the end of 2003, the doctor gave me a whole body CT scan examination. The results showed that there was no visible trace of cancer in my body. The dark spots in my lungs and trachea had disappeared. The tumor in my hip was gone, and the new bone had grown to fill the hole left by the tumor.

My cancer doctor was a very kind senior doctor. He watched the marvelous progress in me and was very excited. He said the results were far better than what he could have expected. He said he had been a cancer doctor for 35 years, and had diagnosed tens of thousands of cancer patients, but my case surprised him in many aspects. He admitted that he could no longer rely on his past experiences and expertise, but needed to learn the new lesson in humbleness. I told him that it was all due to the intervention of God's grace, and God had listened to the prayer of many saints.

Every time I went back for regular checkups, my cancer doctor was very glad. "You left me nothing to do - how am I supposed to pay off my mortgage?" (October 2004)

My body has been doing well till now (January 2016). Every time I went back for regular checkups, my cancer doctor was very glad. He said I always left him nothing to do, and I won't need to go back after the final checkup in Febuary 2011.

Fulfilment of A Prophecy

This experience reminded me of the Bible passage which touched me and led me to my salvation 34 years ago:

"But now, this is what the LORD says--
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
'Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name;
you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the LORD, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.'"

( Isaiah 43:1-3a)

It was a vivid picture depicting the journey I just went through. I was surprised that the Lord foretold me that miracle I would experience 34 years later when I was young and just knew about Him.

Someone commented that I must be very brave or have a strong will to live in order to conquer the disease. Yet in reality, I had not a bit of courage or strength. I just felt that I had never been so relaxed, easy and comforted in my whole life. I even felt like going on a getaway vacation and there was no feeling of sickness at all.

This was somewhat like the story in the book of Daniel, Chapter 3. Three friends of the prophet Daniel were thrown into a blazing furnace by the king of Babylon. However, because of God's protection, they were not only without hurt, there was even no smell of fire on them. Only the ropes that bound them were burned away.

God has kept me to go through the nine-month treatment in a similar way. It burned away the bondage that has bound me for years, such as doubt and unbelief in God, jealousy, criticism, unforgiveness to others, conceitedness, low self-esteem, self-pity, selfishness… I not only regain a healthy body and the opportunity to stay with my family and friends, but what is the most valuable is that I come to know God in a brand new way. I have experienced his wonder, greatness, mercy, kindness, patience, holiness… My heart has been completely changed. Surely I have experienced that "The blessing of the Lord is abundant."

We joined a 4-day tour to the Rocky Mountains. (May 2006)

Conclusion

I am so grateful for all the blessings I received in these days. I am truly convinced hat God can make a way for those who call upon His name when there seems to be no way.

God has not only healed my body, but also restored my soul. I realized how foolish I had been; I took health and longevity for granted, and became concerned and worried for the temporal matters. I did not know that my life was so fragile, and I could depart from this world at any moment. What would wealth, fame, position, honor or dishonor, success or failure, gain or loss mean to me then? What can protect me when I face the eternal judgement?

God lets me know that the way I live now will determine my eternal fate. What is valuable in eternity is to walk with my loving heavenly Father, holding His hand and living every day that He gives me according to His will.

If you want to receive the salvation and peace from Jesus Christ and become God's child, you may pray,

"Please save me, Lord Jesus! Please help me to know you!"

He will certainly hear your prayers, for the Bible has promised us that

"Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." (Rom 10:13)

"Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God" (John 1:12)

He will also save us into His everlasting kingdom of wonderful light in the end.

A Glance of the Heaven
(To be shared with Christians)